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I share the same birthdate as my boyfriend, same date but also same year, our births are seperated by merely 5 hours or so.

I know that the chances of meeting someone who was born on the same date than me is fairly high and I know a few people with whom I share my birthday although for the little I've read about the birthday paradox, it doesn't take same year into account. Journal of the American Statistical Association 84: 853-861.

“It’s a way of essentially matching people and ranking them more quickly and accurately based on who they are being matched up against.”Still, as nuanced as Tinder’s algorithm may be, it ultimately comes down to what Tinder data analyst Chris Dumler calls a “vast voting system.” Every time you swipe right on one person and left on another, you’re fundamentally saying, “This person is more desirable than this other person,” says Dumler.

“Every swipe is in a way casting a vote: I find this person more desirable than this person, whatever motivated you to swipe right.

But to me, and likely most Tinder users, it’s hard not to perceive the rating as a definitive scoring of our attractiveness, a supercharged Hot or Not-style algorithm culled from thousands and thousands of signals. And if the company did, would you even want to know it? Rad, who tells me his Elo score is “above average,” stresses that the rating is technically not a measure of attractiveness, but a measure of “desirability,” in part because it’s not determined simply by your profile photo.

“It’s not just how many people swipe right on you,” Rad explains. It took us two and a half months just to build the algorithm because a lot of factors go into it.”He doesn’t go into too much detail, but it’s easy to imagine how many data points could make up your “desirability” score.

The famous illustration of probability is the infinite monkeys theorum, which ties together random events to make something meaningful by chance.

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My point was that the chances are tiny if you consider the probabilities of being in a relationship ( being successful at it for X amount of time). My boyfriend was arguing the same point you are but the relationship part is what's making me doubtful of the validity.

The reason takes into account all of the possible combinations.

One person has a 1/365 chance of meeting someone with the same birthday.

It’s like if I had a 1/10 chance of winning the lottery and I meet another person who also has a 1/10 chance of winning the lottery, then combined we have a 2/10 chance of winning the lottery.

The odds of a “coincidence” increases with each person: Me meeting a person with the same birthday: 1/365 Me and one other friend meeting someone with the same birthday: 1/(365/2) = 183 Three of us meeting someone with the same birthday: 1/(365/3) = 1/122 …




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That said, the dating world heavyweights made sure to include a few questions that allowed members to customize their profiles a little, but the effort — while well-intended perhaps — provided little more than that. After all, there are farmer-specific sites, and in this case, sexual-orientation is incredibly relevant. While improved its LGBTQ game, and the Zoosk and Ok Cupid platforms were built to be inclusive, it’s been apps like Grindr, Jack’d, Fem and HER, among dozens of others that have taken dating to the next level. Here’s a quick rundown: Unlike most dating apps, Fem offers video dating features instead of just basic photos.


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To both of you - You are both so young to be in this terrible situation. If you have to, then just view it as two friends getting together for an entertaining evening. It might even help to let your date know you've not dated since the loss of your husband, but that is not really necessary unless it will make you more comfortable.