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Consider this to be a spot where Dads with daughters can come to share advice, experiences, and humor about the relationships between us and our daughters. My Google alert popped up a blog article last night titled "43 Questions for Fathers to Ask Their Daughters Boyfriend." First of all, any Dad who thinks his daughter will permit him to interrogate her boyfriend for 43 questions worth, is completely detached from reality. If he's never heard of or watched any of those movies, he's most likely a sissy boy and we wouldn't want him around our daughter to begin with.

You could consider this the Dear Abby for fathers with daughters. If you're lucky to get in a 'how are you,' and maybe a firm handshake (breaking fingers if possible, cracking knuckles at minimum), that's about all the time your daughter might allow you to interact with her male friend. But it was difficult to read through the list of questions more than once. There is only one response, and that would be, 'sir, I worship the ground your daughter walks on. ' Now what father in his right mind would ask a boy with raging hormones who's dating his daughter about Plumbing? I might show him my staple gun and demonstrate on him how it works if his pants are hanging low enough that I can see the design on his boxer shorts. Okay, one more and then I'll give you my pointers for interaction with your daughter's boyfriend. Listen, when you're interacting with your daughter's boyfriend, the first and most important goal is to instill fear in the young man.

_____ YES ______ NO Is one male and the other one female?

_____ YES _____ NO If “NO”, explain: __________________________________________________ Number of years your parents have been married: ____________ Accessories: Do you have any tattoos? _____ YES _____ NO (This includes nose, earrings, tongue, cheeks or belly button) Do you own a waterbed? _____ YES _____ NO References: What is the name of the church you attend? _________________ Essay Section: 1) In 50 words or less, what does the word “LATE” mean to you?

So here's my Top Ten list of Lines to Scare the Crap out of your Daughter's Boyfriend: 1. Bend over and let me attach this GPS tracking unit in the appropriate place 4. Don't forget to tell you daughter that you love her.

Did I tell you about the time I fought off an entire platoon of North Vietnamese without a gun? Did you know that Brock Lesner is my daughter's Godfather? If you behave in a manner unbecoming while you're with my daughter, the authorities won't find your body. I love to cook, and one of my favorite utensils is this ten-inch bread knife with the serrated blade. Things didn't turn out so well with the last boy that dated my daughter.

_________ When would the best time to interview your: 1) Father? 3) In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?And if you continue to pursue her with the wrong definition of love, know that I will fight for my daughter’s heart longer than you will, because I will not let you break it.Consider this powerful description from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is patient, love is kind. You’re probably hoping for a simple “yes” or “no” to your question. It’s because I've loved her since before I met her. In fact, I was there when she opened them for the first time and could barely look at the world around her. You may be a great guy, and for any number of reasons we might be friends, but in order for us to become family I have to first appear to be your adversary.

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